Mar 29, 2017

..



El viaje relámpago de vuelta al origen me dejó convencida de que alejarme fue una decisión necesaria y acertada. Mi casa ahora soy yo.

Mar 28, 2017

Flores


I've always like tulips. I love seeing them born and grow. But I think that their final fragile stage are definitely my favorite.

This morning I woke up to this. The tulips that I gave to myself almost 10 days ago are dying, and this is somewhat inspiring. I am somewhat inspired.


 

Mar 23, 2017

stillness

still



I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

T.S. Elliot


I said to my soul, be still.

The ide of grounding has been somewhat abstract to me, until this last couple of years. As I found myself really reaching limits that I was not able to continue pushing, I know I needed a change. I began doing things intentionally slowly, taking my time making deductions, taking the time for me. I have found myself struggling with this practice. But the more I remind others how important this is, the most it's helpful for me. It is like a healing in circles. Both ways. I heal you and heal me. Without knowing. Intention, pace, and grounding can really save me from  monsters of the past. 

I continue grounding by putting these thoughts in this no longer blank page. I am not alone if I'm able to vomit it our if chest. 

Eliot is absolutely right. The stillness needed to come first: the stopping, and breathing, and listening. The undoing. Then hope: the hard job of replacing the old tapes with newer, optimistic ones and aspiring for a life that is more manageable, less distracted and scattered. And then faith. Believing in me, in others, in powers of change and community that can deliver me to solid earth where I can begin to think, consider, cry, and heal. And ultimately, to dance.

Maui


en mi ultimo dia, me la pase en una playa Hermosa.


 
Llegando, Michel y yo explorando.
 









  



Mar 17, 2017

under the starts



today

such a beautiful day. I have been enjoying the swings of my mood fluctuate from all or nothing and just before my last session I was able to find the "in between." It has been only for few seconds.. but I know that it exist.

Crisis week. and my clients were safe by Friday.

I am safe on Friday.

I am going dancing under the starts on Friday.

I am having a long walk through the port and crash in upstairs crow.

I will think about how happy I am and not wondering why. I will listen to my friend, deeply. I do not feel like sharing much.

I just want to be still. I hope my eyes can express that.

Im saying yes to everything this Friday.

Im not sure what changed and how the mood is saying yes. But I love saying yes, and Friday.



The lesser blessed

I have to tell you something, I said, I’m not going to lie, I have to tell you I have this god-shaped hole in my  heart, and I think you do ...