stillness

 

still

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love

For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.

Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:

So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.

T.S. Elliot

I said to my soul, be still.

The ide of grounding has been somewhat abstract to me, until this last couple of years. As I found myself really reaching limits that I was not able to continue pushing, I know I needed a change. I began doing things intentionally slowly, taking my time making deductions, taking the time for me. I have found myself struggling with this practice. But the more I remind others how important this is, the most it's helpful for me. It is like a healing in circles. Both ways. I heal you and heal me. Without knowing. Intention, pace, and grounding can really save me from  monsters of the past. 

I continue grounding by putting these thoughts in this no longer blank page. I am not alone if I'm able to vomit it our if chest. 

Eliot is absolutely right. The stillness needed to come first: the stopping, and breathing, and listening. The undoing. Then hope: the hard job of replacing the old tapes with newer, optimistic ones and aspiring for a life that is more manageable, less distracted and scattered. And then faith. Believing in me, in others, in powers of change and community that can deliver me to solid earth where I can begin to think, consider, cry, and heal. And ultimately, to dance.