Jan 6, 2011

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  • Hoy me encontre no contando los dias en que no has estado. senti alivio, pero no calma. La paranoia no se ha ido, solo porque la presencia fisica falta. y me da miedo pensar que faltan algunos otros anos para estar realmente liberada de las emociones que me resisto a tener. Hoy me senti vacia de recuerdos. y sin recuerdos no hay calma. asi que necesito ese recuerdo aunque no sea bueno.

  • Going back to my own words is a challenge. I used to think that in order to really speak the truth while writing, I needed to write my feelings in the moment and never go back; so there wouldn't be moments of regrets, looks of embarrassment of self, or guilt. This perspective towards writing has been also part of a progress I have noticed in me. I went back and I read line by line what I wrote during this first year of the program. It was rewarding to see mistakes, to feel proud of them. The words are all coming back to me, but in with a different meaning. One that I don't know yet.

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